Bugs and stress and winter and... oh I don't know.

So at the moment I am on 5 or 6 menthol things a day.  Here's what needs to happen. I need to be able to quit without the mind games. The physical effects I can endure but not the head stuff. The week leading to Christmas was a nightmare in truth. I have not suffered from depression but I imagine that was what it is like. Awful.

Since starting again all I am hearing is how much better I sound on the air. So there we have it. Health or career?

I have not given up as it were. Will do it again at some point and next time I will know what to expect. 

Until then....

Jx

That's 42 days.

1,008 Hours.

60,480 Minutes.

I will not bore you with seconds but you get the picture.

The odd and somewhat disappointing thing is that I do not feel the least bit better. Very much worse in truth. Catching every cold going, head all messed up and tired all the time. I am told this is all to be expected. Well it needs to get better fairly sharpish to be honest.

I keep wondering if 'just one' would make make any difference. Everybody says it will... not sure who to however.

I have managed to put some weight on as well. About half a stone so far. Here's the deal... If I go over 13 stone I will smoke again. Call it week if you like but I would rather smoke than be fat.

Just 10 pounds to go then

James

The 900 seater Spa Pavilion, long since sold out, provided the backdrop for the culmination of 6 weeks of intensive everything.

As compere I was in a unique position to witness the level of stress that exuded the 100 or so people involved in putting the show on. Riggers, fitters, sound men, vision men, men whose job I didn't know - and the dancers themselves. Truly a fascinating insight in itself. But then... I had a job to do.

I began to ponder this. 2 minutes on stage with a pre-rehearsed dance or 3 hours on stage thinking on my feet. What would be more stressful?

The dancing. By a mile. Not that my conclusion rendered my stomach butterflyless. It was still almost 1000 people and a vast audience on the internet. Would I be tempted to sneak a quick fag? I was doing really well until....

45 minutes before curtain call I decided to get changed. By now I was feeling the atmosphere of fear. Waistcoat, cummerbund, bow-tie.... Out came the dinner jacket that I had not used since August. There was an odd bulge in the top pocket. I rummaged around and pulled out the offending article. 19 Rothman's Royals Superkings.

I swear they winked at me.  I am sure I hear a voice, "Go on... just one...."

Would I cave in?

The night was huge success. £10,000 raised for Children In Need and an audience very appreciative of our efforts. My compere-ing got laughs, for the right reason, and Suffolk stood tall as a county that gets off it's backside when called to action. 

Oh... and I remained smoke free.

Jx

There I am gently playing about with one of them. Usual stuff, tickling the belly, pretending to growl etc. I have no idea what happened next but in a flash of snarl I get punctured in the thumb like a cheap football.

The Alsatian? The big one with huge teeth?

Nope. The Shihtzu.

Well I tell you it hurt like hell. And bled. I pranced about the house in a way only men can courting sympathy from anyone in the vicinity. I was actually shaking like a leaf. It's not the first time I have been bitten by a dog but this was the most painful. I needed a fag.

I resisted.

Next day I attend Trinity Park near Ipswich to help launch Healthy Ambitions - an NHS Suffolk initiative to make the county the healthiest in the country. Did you know there is over 12 years difference in life expectancy between certain parts of Suffolk? Imagine that - living 12 years longer just because of where you live in the county.

I felt very proud as Rachael Sloane interviewed me in front of the assembled guests who seemed first shocked by my revelation that I have spent more on fags than the original cost of my house, then impressed that I have not touched the weed for 10 days.  It was an enjoyable but flying visit because of a photo-shoot that I was already late for. The traffic on the way back to the studio was crazy... I wanted a fag.

I resisted.

The photo shoot was OK. Not OK the magazine I hasten to add. The Suffolk one that you see in newsagents. I will be in the Christmas edition apparently. Back at my desk my beloved team of Sal & Shaz begin to see the funny side of my savaging at the hands of a very small and cuddly dog. Then one of them mentioned tetanus. In truth I had already thought about this but the fear of needles resulted in me preparing to risk lockjaw. On they went... Googling everything they could find about tetanus. I rang my GP to appease them, in the safe knowledge that I was up to date with tetanus and the bite was not bad enough anyway - thus escaping the dreaded injection.

Wrong on both counts.

Twenty minutes and a small prick later I left the surgery. Trembling again. I needed a fag.

Guess what?

I resisted. 

It's a conspiracy I tell you. I mean is life really against a person trying to quit I wonder? Did Ryan Giggs tell Fergie - "I won't score until 85 minutes boss - Hazell is trying to quit fags - Hehehe"? Did Lewis Hamilton sit there in 6th place thinking "I will leave this till the last corner - Hazell is trying to quit fags - Hohoho"? Did the bus driver that did not feel the need to avoid a small motorcycle this morning have a memo that read "If you see Hazell, stress him out - he's trying to quit fags - Teeheehee..."?

I assume paranoia is one of the symptoms of quitting right?

Jx

I have to admit that I was quite happy with the progression myself and James had made with cutting down - from 30 a day each to just 8 between us I thought was fantastic, but apparently that's not the way to go and the date was set to quit completely.

James has done so well, with his patches and puffer, he's been a bit grumpy, but nowhere near as bad as he has been in past attempts, so the substitutes are obviously working for him.

As for me, I've had to go cold turkey. I'm allergic to the patches and the puffer or gum gives me incredibly sore throat and migraines.

I have started biting my nails, something that I haven't done since I was a child. I've also been amazingly moody, not since hormonal pregnancy have I been this unpredictable. I have also taken to hanging round my, now few, smoker friends just to get a sniff of second-hand smoke.

This is difficult, verging on torture. "what harm would just one do?" is a repetitive thought that is so hard to suppress. I have always reached for a cigarette in times of stress, but as the giving up is in itself stressful you find yourself reaching, but with nothing to grab.

I'm sure this will get easier and I will feel the benefits some time soon, but for now I'm struggling.

I hope you're all feeling better than I am.

Karen - aged 45, but feeling 90.

For the first time I feel like an ex-smoker. I seem to be ridding myself of those 'habit' urges. It's a good feeling.... And not a moment too soon.

J 

I feel dreadful.

Bored, angry, miserable... and my head feels like it's full of cement.

This may be due to the lack of sleep that the patch inducing nightmares cause.

So how is everybody else getting on? Too grumpy to use a computer?!

J

Like most things in my life it was live on the radio. My producer Sally took great delight in stamping all over the remaining smokes in the packet. And so.. that was that.

It had to feel like a momentous occasion. After nearly 30 years it needed to be signified by something. You don't do something 273,750 times without something to mark the last time you will do it. 

Most of  my head is up for this. The rest of it will moan like all hell... "You did this a quarter of a million times, if it was going to kill you it would have done already" etc etc. I am sure as the days and weeks go by a large number of gripes will surface. I will endeavor to discuss them right here.

A good number of people have agreed to give up today as well as me. I hope they will also contribute to this blog and use it a resource - a support group almost - where people know what it means to be a smoker and what it means to be an ex-smoker.

Good luck to everybody.

My Karen, who has also given up today, wants to talk about the wedding. Did you here? For my birthday she presented me with a document  - a booking for a wedding 3rd June 2009. So I better go and talk about that.

Should distract me from the fags for a while eh.

Jx

I have been withdrawn from Dancers In Need.

Evidently the minor health issue I have has rendered me 'a risk' and therefore the decision was taken for me to step down. Pity... my Cha Cha Cha was really impressive.

There is a positive however....

I have never been here before - being withdrawn from something physical on health grounds. It's not nice and highlights very well what my life could be like if I don't stop smoking. The health issue I have can and will be solved in the next two years. This would not be the case with a smoking related ailment would it?

And I don't enjoy feeling alienated from certain activities.

As for Dancers In Need, I will still be there - very much part of the night. I look forward to performing in 2011.

James

The venue this year was Greshams Sports Club on Tuddenham Road. Yet another no smoking zone. It was packed and it was great to see so many teams supporting the quiz - including teams from other stations including Ipswich Community radio (ICR), SGR and several teams from Town 102.

To the dulcet tones of Foz the quiz got underway. Every year I say 'it's the turning up and taking part that's important'. Who am I kidding? Very quickly the old competitive streak kicked in and answers were flying out of our mouths. Not all correct ones however.

We finished a very respectable 9th from over 30 teams. Well we were pleased anyway. As always I got anything related to disco right and anything related to Pink Floyd wrong. The missus waded in with some belters, my guests knew much more stuff than I had assumed and Shaz impressed with her knowledge of Cliff who she claims to dislike. Knightsy pulled out a couple of pearlers and his lucky guess at the Formula one winner on Sunday provided for drinks . All in all an enjoyable night - we were quite happy to concede victory to the impressive Town 102 team. Smart Alecs.

So did I pop out occasionally for  a fag?

Of course I did. And so did many others. These will be the testing times I guess.

12 days to go.

Who's with me?

JH x

The date has been decided following my chat with Jeff Keighley - the NHS smoking adviser - who was on the show yesterday. 27th October. I can therefore get one more birthday in before I quit. I am already counting down the days.

I am beginning to notice the times when I smoke. After a meal, during a long song and late at night when staring at the stars. Not to mention first thing in the morning. These will be the testing times - along with many others I have not yet thought of. Even while typing this I am thinking - fag in a moment. Grrrrr.... it's gonna be tough.

Georgy Wroe at the station has suggested a book by one Alan Carr. Anyone know if its any good? For that matter are there any other publications that have worked? Would appreciate any assistance.

Here's what I worry about;

1. Putting on weight. I got to 43 weighing 11 stone and want to stay that way.

2. Getting grumpy. This happened last time and nearly got me arrested after a confrontation with the boys in blue. I, like the officer, can laugh about it now but at the time the red mist was well on the way.

3. Having my head messed up. Seriously. In the past there was a period of non-smoking that affected my on-air performance somehow. This HAS to be avoided for obvious reasons but I have no idea how.

4. Putting on weight. Again. 

I suppose we'll deal with these things as or if they arise. My Karen and I are both Scorpio so I am expecting a very lively few months in the Hazell household.

To those who called the show wondering if Sal and I really had fallen out....  No. We never do. Well.... very occasionally but we soon sort it out. I was mildly impressed that Sal was as knackered as me during our dancing lessons this afternoon. Let's hope the fags have not done that much damage - as would appear to be the case.

My boy Felix has his football training now. I bet I will want a fag during that...

More soon...

James

X

Here's where I am. From 30 a day I am down to 5. I know that's no good but for me it's a big step. The plan is to get used to 5, then quit altogether. For that I need to set a date. Even that is proving to be a headache. Each day seems to have it's own little 'test'. Yesterday for instance I blew all the lights in the house. Sunday I was a linesman in the driving rain. Very stressful. Tomorrow I have some personal legal stuff to attend to - again, very stressful. And so on...

I know. I need to just set a date and be done with it. I welcome suggestions.

Please feel free to add comments to the blog. They will not appear immediately because - apparently - I have to vet them. I will monitor the site throughout the day so it will not be long before they do appear.

Be nice!

James