It's my birthday today and as a present I've been let loose on James' blog. Most people get chocolates, I get to ramble here.

I have to admit that I was quite happy with the progression myself and James had made with cutting down - from 30 a day each to just 8 between us I thought was fantastic, but apparently that's not the way to go and the date was set to quit completely.

James has done so well, with his patches and puffer, he's been a bit grumpy, but nowhere near as bad as he has been in past attempts, so the substitutes are obviously working for him.

As for me, I've had to go cold turkey. I'm allergic to the patches and the puffer or gum gives me incredibly sore throat and migraines.

I have started biting my nails, something that I haven't done since I was a child. I've also been amazingly moody, not since hormonal pregnancy have I been this unpredictable. I have also taken to hanging round my, now few, smoker friends just to get a sniff of second-hand smoke.

This is difficult, verging on torture. "what harm would just one do?" is a repetitive thought that is so hard to suppress. I have always reached for a cigarette in times of stress, but as the giving up is in itself stressful you find yourself reaching, but with nothing to grab.

I'm sure this will get easier and I will feel the benefits some time soon, but for now I'm struggling.

I hope you're all feeling better than I am.

Karen - aged 45, but feeling 90.