Ok so Christmas did the damage.

Bugs and stress and winter and... oh I don't know.

So at the moment I am on 5 or 6 menthol things a day.  Here's what needs to happen. I need to be able to quit without the mind games. The physical effects I can endure but not the head stuff. The week leading to Christmas was a nightmare in truth. I have not suffered from depression but I imagine that was what it is like. Awful.

Since starting again all I am hearing is how much better I sound on the air. So there we have it. Health or career?

I have not given up as it were. Will do it again at some point and next time I will know what to expect. 

Until then....

Jx

Six weeks of non-smoking.

That's 42 days.

1,008 Hours.

60,480 Minutes.

I will not bore you with seconds but you get the picture.

The odd and somewhat disappointing thing is that I do not feel the least bit better. Very much worse in truth. Catching every cold going, head all messed up and tired all the time. I am told this is all to be expected. Well it needs to get better fairly sharpish to be honest.

I keep wondering if 'just one' would make make any difference. Everybody says it will... not sure who to however.

I have managed to put some weight on as well. About half a stone so far. Here's the deal... If I go over 13 stone I will smoke again. Call it week if you like but I would rather smoke than be fat.

Just 10 pounds to go then

James

As the four seasons once said... Oh What  A Night.

The 900 seater Spa Pavilion, long since sold out, provided the backdrop for the culmination of 6 weeks of intensive everything.

As compere I was in a unique position to witness the level of stress that exuded the 100 or so people involved in putting the show on. Riggers, fitters, sound men, vision men, men whose job I didn't know - and the dancers themselves. Truly a fascinating insight in itself. But then... I had a job to do.

I began to ponder this. 2 minutes on stage with a pre-rehearsed dance or 3 hours on stage thinking on my feet. What would be more stressful?

The dancing. By a mile. Not that my conclusion rendered my stomach butterflyless. It was still almost 1000 people and a vast audience on the internet. Would I be tempted to sneak a quick fag? I was doing really well until....

45 minutes before curtain call I decided to get changed. By now I was feeling the atmosphere of fear. Waistcoat, cummerbund, bow-tie.... Out came the dinner jacket that I had not used since August. There was an odd bulge in the top pocket. I rummaged around and pulled out the offending article. 19 Rothman's Royals Superkings.

I swear they winked at me.  I am sure I hear a voice, "Go on... just one...."

Would I cave in?

The night was huge success. £10,000 raised for Children In Need and an audience very appreciative of our efforts. My compere-ing got laughs, for the right reason, and Suffolk stood tall as a county that gets off it's backside when called to action. 

Oh... and I remained smoke free.

Jx